


and that’s the truth, i’ve been living in a fantasy

by LPSunnyBunny



Series: Carry Me Home [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aftercare, And it goes about as expected, Crying During Sex, Dave Strider Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dirk is an Attentive Dom, Dom/sub Undertones, Humiliation, Incest, M/M, Minor Praise Kink, Panic Attacks, Piss, Shibari, Sibling Incest, Sleeping in Shibari, Urination, and deals with it badly by asking Dirk to tie him up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:20:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23952937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LPSunnyBunny/pseuds/LPSunnyBunny
Summary: Post game Dave cannot handle the fact that everyone's moved on and he cannot seem to settle into his own skin. So, in classic Strider fashion, he deals with his problem in a manner that is meant to be self-destructive.Good thing the one he asks to help him is Dirk, who never fails to take the well being of his friends seriously.(Aka Dave gets tied up and then Dirk fucks him. And there is piss.)(Previously named Secured)
Relationships: Dave Strider/Dirk Strider
Series: Carry Me Home [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730038
Comments: 10
Kudos: 85
Collections: Sunny's Portfolio





	and that’s the truth, i’ve been living in a fantasy

**Author's Note:**

> My Dirk is trans post surgery but since it doesn't come up in a meaningful way I won't tag it.

Dave’s nervous. Of course he is. Here is is, standing in Dirk’s apartment, letting his older ecto-brother wind lengths of rope around his body, dressed in his boxers. His mouth is dry.

“Feeling alright?” Dirk murmurs, his eyes narrowed in concentration (both of them had removed their shades, a silent mutual agreement) as he wraps the rope around Dave’s chest. His hands are deft and move without hesitation, making Dave wonder if Dirk had _practiced_ for this. The thought of it made a warm flutter go through Dave’s stomach, helping to counteract the nervous shake in his hands.

“Yeah.” Dave answers, after a pause that’s four seconds too long. Dirk’s gaze flicks up to meet his, pausing in his motions as he studies Dave’s expression. Dave swallows and gives Dirk a little nod. Dirk nods back and his motions resume. Loops of rope being passed around Dave’s body, under his arms, forming a base harness around his body for Dirk to work with.

“Breathe deep.” Dirk says, moving to behind Dave and Dave does so, his chest expanding. There’s a tug and the harness goes tight around his chest, the ropes cinching. Dave’s pulse spikes.

“Breathe out.” Dirk murmurs and Dave lets out the breath, swaying slightly, head spinning. “Still alright?”

“I’m fine.” Dave says, too quickly now, words coming in a rush as Dirk starts slipping fingers underneath ropes, testing their give. “Doing great. Just perfect. The best I’ve ever done, you know, just-”

“Dave.” Dirk says patiently and Dave snaps his mouth shut. He feels like he’s about to start vibrating out of his skin. Like- like how he felt when Bro was home, waiting for the flash of the first strike. Constantly looking for the door, for the shadows on the wall.

Dave glances at the door. It’s shut.

“Try and breathe.” Dirk murmurs as his hand closes around Dave’s wrist. Dave almost jumps out of his skin, arm jerking reflexively, and had Dirk not tightened his grip and kept Dave’s arm down Dave most certainly would have punched him in the face.

“Right.” Dave says weakly. _Just breathe._ Stupid fucking advice. If you don’t breathe, you lose your rhythm. Become unstable. Shaky. If you don’t breathe, you die. Dirk is winding rope around his arm. Dave almost cant look. He shifts. Looks at the door. It’s shut.

Dirk takes his other wrist. Dave manages to control his reflex. It’s too much. He’s walking around with a stranger in his skin, a ticking in his head. A countdown to destruction with no way to clip the wires of the bomb because the bomb is him and it’s all in his head and who the fuck would even come near him with a metaphorical pair of wire clippers when even the slightest touch he can’t see coming makes him almost break people’s noses.

The slight tug of rope when Dave breathes slingshots him back into his own skin. Right. Dirk would.

His brother Dirk, who had barely batted an eye when Dave showed up at three in the morning and tossed himself onto Dirk’s couch and stared at the ceiling with static in his brain and just word vomited to the sight of Dirk digging in a robot’s guts. His brother Dirk, who hadn’t flinched when Dave reflexively pulled a sword on him and just matched blades until Dave dropped his. His brother Dirk, who is now _tying Dave up_ so that Dave can try some stupid experiment.

“Breathe.” Dirk says, stepping back to Dave’s line of sight, holding lengths of black rope in his hands and Dave almost snaps sarcasm at him before he realizes Dirk means it literally and sucks in a breath. Dirk tests the ropes over Dave’s chest with narrow, focused eyes and it lets Dave stare at him and absorb his expression.

Bro was never anything other than a wall. Dave is pretty sure when he was younger Bro must have been more touchy- he remembers hair ruffles and pats on the back- but once a sword was shoved into his hands the touches vanished, his only sensations being blows and skidding across hot concrete. Staring across the heatwave-hazy roof at a blank face and shakes like a wall separating them.

Dirk is different. He doesn’t hesitate to seek out Dave’s shoulder or wrist when they’re together, continuing it no matter how many times Dave almost takes his head off. His mouth twitches in amusement, frowns in annoyance, presses together in frustration. Just the twitches of his eyebrows are more expressive than Bro ever was. Dirk is his brother, in theory Bro in another universe, another setting- but he isn’t _Bro._

Bro never seemed to care about the effects of his actions; Dirk never _stops_ caring.

Dirk taking both of Dave’s wrists jolted him back to reality and he shifts a little as Dirk folds Daves arms in a x-shape over his chest. “Hold them here.” Dirk murmurs and takes the ends of the ropes, starting to weave them into the harness. Dave tilts his head up a little, body swaying with the motions.

The ropes weren’t bothering him before, when he could move, but Dave can feel his pulse picking up now that his arms are being restrained. “Dirk.” Dave starts, and Dirk glances up. His gaze is neutral, one brow quirking after a moment. “I’m changing my mind.” Dave blurts out. “Get me out.”

Dirk’s hands grip the ropes and tug them tight. Panic spikes through Dave.

“Dirk, get me- get me out, I don’t want-” Dave tries to pull away but Dirk just tugs him close, cups one hand around the back of Dave’s neck and says,

“Say _Strider_ and I’ll stop.” Dirk says, tone soft. Watchful. His calm orange eyes burning into Dave’s wide red ones.

Dave sucks in a breath. Two. Tries to work through the panic in his blood. He clenches his jaw.

Dirk waits a beat, then his hand slides from the back of Dave’s neck and he continues working on the ropes. Dave closes his eyes, his bare toes flexing on the wooden floor, breathing through his nose. Dirk’s footsteps are soft as he steps around behind Dave again, tucking the ropes into place.

“Dave.” Dirk says, and Dave shivers at the rush of his breath across the back of his neck. “Do you still want me to do your legs?” Two fingers hook into the ropes across Dave’s back and Dave can’t feel anything but the touch, right side, in the middle of his back, two knuckles digging in slightly, and he jerkily nods, not trusting himself to speak.

“Alright.” The touch vanishes. Then, a hand on his shoulder. “Down on the bed.” Dirk says and Dave opens his eyes so that he can awkwardly twist around to sit down on the edge of the bed. Dirk retrieves another length of rope and winds it around his arm- that looks like a cowboy move. Did Dirk learn all this from cowboys?

What a stupid thought. Dave shoves it out of his head moments before his entire brain fries because Dirk is kneeling down at Dave’s feet. His careful hands encourage one of Dave’s thighs to lift and then he’s stringing the rope around, starting to do loops over Dave’s bare legs.

Dave stares down at Dirk. His brother’s hands are callused, just like Dave’s own- handling swords tends to cause that-, but their movements are so careful and smooth. Wrapping and threading the rope over and over Dave’s skin with his head bowed- if Dave didn’t know better, he’d say the movements were _reverent._

Dave is so caught up in watching Dirk’s rhythmic movements that some of the panic is leeching from him, replaces by an embarrassed warmth. Dirk’s presence is- well. It’s _soothing._ Dirk just _gets_ it. He lets Dave ramble and understands, he lets Dave say nothing at all and understands. Maybe it’s because they’re brothers, but- Dave doesn’t think anyone else has this kind of bond. Then again, he doesn’t know. Maybe Roxy and Rose are just as close.

Part of Dave hopes not. He wants to be greedy- to be the only one with a bond like this. Maybe that’s fucked up, but he can’t bring himself to care.

Dirk shifts him and Dave falls back to lie on his back as Dirk starts binding his legs together from the thighs down. He lets his eyes fall closed, still breathing through his nose. His nose that is itching. Dave wiggles it, blinks hard, twists to rub his face against the ropes-

“Dave?” Dave freezes as Dirk looks up, having noticed his movements.

“My nose itches.” Dave says. Dirk makes a low, amused noise, and then the bed dips as Dirk climbs onto it. His weight on one calf means Dave slides a little on the sheets towards him and ends up with his side pressed along Dirk’s leg. Goosebumps break out on Dave’s legs.

Dirk leans over Dave to very carefully scratch at his nose and Dave can’t do anything but stare up with wide eyes as heat rushes into his face. They’ve been close before, but- not like this, with Dirk hovering over him, Dave trapped and at his mercy.

His eyes dart to the door. It’s shut.

Dirk, of course, notices the glance. “Everything alright?” He murmurs, voice low and husky, and heat _rushes_ south.

Oh no. Dave swallows. “Doing fine.” He croaks. He can’t quite meet Dirk’s gaze now, focusing his gaze on Dirk’s nose instead. Dirk pulls his hand back and slips off the bed. There’s a pause where Dave closes his eyes and silently prays for death as his face goes hot.

Dirk, mercifully, does not comment on Dave’s _painfully obvious_ boner. Instead, his hands continue working on the ropes around Dave’s legs. Dave swallows and tips his head back, his thighs twitching under every little touch, every brush. He stares at the point of Dirk’s room where two walls meet the ceiling, staring at the plaster. At the inside of the cube. His fists squeeze and he presses them a little bit into his chest before breathing deep, pushing them out.

His legs jerk slightly as Dirk pulls the ropes tight, pinning them together and Dave shudders. He’s tressed like a fucking pig and he flexes his thighs, trying to be subtle about his testing of the ropes. His pulse is audible in his ears.

Dirk runs a hand up Dave’s leg. Over his bare thigh, like he’s reassuring a spooked filly. “Dave.” He says, and Dave’s gaze snaps to him. Flickers to the door. It’s shut. “Alright?”

Dave gives a jerky nod, not trusting himself to speak without dissolving into babbling. Dirk nods a little and climbs onto the bed, hooking his hands into the ropes around Dave’s shoulder and hauling him onto the bed properly.

“Talk to me.” Dirk says, sitting cross legged next to Dave. Dave shudders. There’s a deep pulsing in his chest as he flexes his toes, tests the bindings. His legs bend at the knee as he squirms, his thighs flexing and tensing as he tries to pull them apart, wiggling on the bed, yanking his arms against the ropes and finding only the tiniest give- enough slack in the rope to let him breathe, but he can’t do anything.

“Are they comfortable? Too tight? Too loose?” Dirk prompts, and Dave actually hears a tinge of _worry_ in his tone. He swallows and looks up at Dirk.

“They’re perfect.” Dave croaks, his throat tight. Cold is sliding down his spine as he wiggles, struggles harder. “I’m pretty sure I’m about to have a fucking panic attack.” The bed is pitching to the side. Dirk just nods a bit in understanding.

“I won’t free you.” He says. “Not until you say so.” Dave gives a full body shudder as he thrashes, a heavy breath punching from his lungs at Dirk’s words.

“I-” oh god he can’t do this. Dave is so fucking stupid. “Dirk, wait- no-”

Dirk cocks his head. Dave’s chest arches from the bed as he strains, arms jerking against the ropes. His lungs feel tight, like he can’t breath. Dirk’s calm gaze is watching him- Dave _knows_ he’s not- he’s not judging him, but- but Dave’s freaking out from something as small as being _tied up-_

“I’m gonna suffocate-” Dave gasps, chest heaving.

“No you won’t.” Dirk says calmly and Dave jerks on the bed.

“Get me out, I can’t breathe-” Dave’s throat’s tight, his lungs ache, he’s shaking, the ropes are cutting into his limbs as he struggles and twists, trying to get free. His brain is short-circuiting, hips bucking and twisting, chest heaving as he desperately sucks in air.

“Dave.” Dirk’s hand settles on Dave’s shoulder. Dave jolts and his gaze snaps to Dirk, hand flashing out-

It’s stopped in it’s tracks by the ropes, the movement cut before it could even begin.

“If you want to be free, say the word.” Dirk says. “It’s alright.” His gaze is steady, patient. “It was an experiment. All data is important, no matter the outcome.”

Dave shudders, eyes wide. He could say it and be freed. He could get out of this, stop the mounting tightness in his chest, could stop the shaking in his limbs and the pulsing of his blood-

He shakes his head quickly. “No.” He croaks around the lump in his throat. “I- don’t. I don’t want- _fuck-_ ” To his embarrassment, his eyes are flooding as he trembles. Dirk lightly brushes Dave’s sweat-soaked bangs off his forehead.

“It’s alright.” Dirk repeats. “Breathe. You are safe.”

Dave breathes, shaky and long, but the feeling of it just pulls at the ropes around his chest, making him tremble and arch. “Dirk.” He whispers.

“Yeah?”

“Pin…. Pin me down.”

Dirk watches Dave for a minute. Thumbs down his cheek, swiping away tears in a motion that makes Dave flush, makes him shudder.

“You really want to hurt yourself, huh, bro?” Dirk murmurs and Dave flinches because he’s not _wrong_. “Alright. Face up or down?”

“Up.” Dave says and immediately regrets it as Dirk swings over Dave to lay his body over his. His thighs go on either side of Dave’s hips, his legs sandwiching Dave’s knees to lock his feet together over Dave’s ankles. He settles his elbows on either side of Dave’s face, pressing the length of his torso over Dave, over his folded arms, until their faces are bare inches apart.

Dirk’s breathing is slow and steady, composed, as it slowly washes over Dave’s face. Dave feels dizzy, caught there, staring into Dirk’s eyes. The pounding pulse is- quieter, now, like this. With Dirk on top of him, the rest of the world is muffled. Hazy around the edges.

“Good.” Dirk murmurs and a shudder runs through Dave at the praise. He blinks hard against the burn in his eyes. Dirk- Dirk makes him feel _safe._ Like he doesn’t- doesn’t have to be in control. Or keep an eye out. Dirk, his older brother will do it, will watch the door-

Dave can’t see the door. Panic spikes as he thrashes, he needs to see it he needs to he needs to he can’t fucking breath oh fuck is Bro home he can’t move he can’t move _he can’t get away please-_

Dave bursts into horrified sobs as terror _streaks_ through him, bucking and twisting wildly, thrashing against the bonds, against being held, against being presses into the sheets with someone on top of him, he can’t get away, he _can’t._ Every flex sends a fresh new surge of spiking bitter fear through his form, a terrible ache he can’t get away from.

“Dave.” Dirk says and Dave sobs again, his gut twisting and churning, hips bucking, trying to throw Dirk off but Dirk’s pressure doesn’t leave, he _doesn’t leave,_ thighs clamped firmly around Dave’s hips, chest crushed against Dave’s.

“Pleasepleaseplease _pleaseplease-”_ Dave begs, his sight just a blur of colors through his waterlogged vision. Distantly he’s aware that he’s hyperventilating, sobbing and gasping and shaking, head tilting back, shaking apart in the ropes, under the pressure of his brother.

“ _Please_ please _please_ please-” It doesn’t feel like a word in Dave’s mouth anymore but he babbles it anyway, until it’s just noises and he can’t breathe, shaking as heat spreads through him, searing and hot and-

Dirk rolls them and hugs Dave tightly as Dave sobs, hot tears spilling across his face, heat spreading up his belly and down his legs and he sobs _harder_ as he realizes that Dirk is holding him tight as Dave pisses himself, as Dave cries like a fucking baby and can’t even control his fucking bladder, his face pressed to Dirk’s neck, body jerking and shaking and all but _humping_ his brother in his crying.

Dirk’s hand is in Dave’s hair, stroking it. A fresh wave of sobs tears through Dave, ugly and heaving. His legs are shaking and kicking, beating down onto the bed, a terrible _helplessness_ clutching his chest, strangling his lungs and churning his gut.

The wetness soaked into Dirk’s shirt and pants is going cold against Dave’s belly. Dave shudders as his sobs start to slow, turning into soft weeping against Dirk’s warm neck. Dirk’s other hand is stroking over Dave’s back, fingers slipping under ropes and rubbing beneath them, just petting slowly.

“Dave?” Dirk murmurs as Dave slowly starts to go limp with exhaustion, limbs trembling as he squeezes his eyes shut.

“Sorry-” Dave chokes out but Dirk shakes his head.

“Nothing to be sorry for.” He says, his mouth finding Dave’s temple. “You okay?”

Dave shakes his head. He sobbed like a baby, pissed himself and all over his brother, and _holy fucking shit wait Dirk is hard against his hip._ He resolutely presses his face into Dirk’s shoulder, not wanting to look at him and be killed on the spot from the force of his embarrassment, but the movement makes him shift and he freezes as he realizes that he, too is hard.

Slowly, he nods his head. He can’t help the little shifts, the little twitches, but it makes him move against Dirk, his face flushing. Dirk’s fingers are still scratching softly at his hair.

“Do you want me to cut you out?” Dirk asks, his other fingers tugging pointedly at a section of rope on Dave’s lower back. The tug makes the rope in the crease of his thighs pull, pulling more of his focus down there, around that place. Dave trembles and shakes his head again.

“Alright. We can stay like this.” Dirk murmurs. “Anything you want me to do? Not do?”

Dave swallows. Finds his voice. Despite the fear closing his throat, he manages to say, “do whatever you want.” Squeezing his eyes shut.

Dirk’s fingers in his hair don’t pause, but the ones on Dave’s back hook into a rope around his hips and sit there for a minute. Thumb slowly stroking back and forth over the soft skin of Dave’s waist.

“ _Whatever_ I want?” He says softly. “That’s a dangerous set of words, Dave.” Dave’s breathing is shaky before he slowly nods into Dirk’s neck and wiggles a bit closer, trying to press his hip a little harder into Dirk’s hard on.

Dirk rolls them again and Dave yelps in surprise, blinking hard to try and clear the tears from his vision. Dirk shifts so that he’s straddling Dave’s hips and rocks down, putting pressure on Dave’s cock that has him giving a yelping moan.

“All tied up.” Dirk muses as he grinds slowly, making Dave’s hips wiggle and try to buck up. The wet fabric is uncomfortable as it clings to Dave’s cock, but that’s rapidly forgotten by the sight of Dirk planting his hands on either side of Dave’s face, his expression intense as he leans in. “Are you sure about this, Dave?” Dirk asks softly, his eyes searching Dave’s. “Actually think. If you say yes then you are giving me permission to do _whatever I want._ That’s not something to be given lightly.”

Dave takes a slow breath in and lets it out. Every inch of him feels heavy from exhaustion. “Just don’t ask me to move.” He croaks, mouth dry. Dirk lets out a soft huff of laughter and nods once.

“Alright.” He leans in and kisses Dave’s temple and then pulls back entirely, sliding off the bed. “I’ll be right back.” He walks out of the room, leaving the door open. Dave watches it, squirming on the bed. The nervous beat under his skin is returning, but it’s slower, harder to get going from the weight in his limbs.

The door’s open. Dave presses and rubs his thighs together, cock achingly hard. If he strains, he can hear the sounds of clinking in the rest of Dirk’s apartment. Dave closes his eyes for a moment to rest them before panic spikes through him and he’s snapping them open. The door’s open.

Tension is starting to vibrate through him again, despite the protests of his aching muscles. He can’t move- he can’t defend himself. He’s in direct line of sight, he _can’t-_

Dirk walks through the door and shuts it behind himself with a kick of his foot, arms holding some water bottles. Dave sinks into the bed with a shudder, his muscles relaxing. Dirk’s here. Dave’s safe. He’s _trapped-_ but safe. Dirk won’t let anything hurt him.

His everything hurts. Dave watches Dirk methodically sets each bottle down on his desk. Four in all.

“Dirk?” Dave asks, his voice shaky with exhaustion.

Dirk glances to Dave, his expression contemplative, as he strips off his wet shirt and tosses it into his hamper. He picks up a bottle, cracks it open and drinks half before coming over to Dave and hauling him by the ropes into a sitting position.

“Here.” Dirk murmurs, pressing the bottle to Dave’s mouth and he gulps the water down thankfully. He shudders when it’s empty, looking up at Dirk uncertainly, feeling shaky with the new, untrodden ground between them. “Still thirsty?” He asks. Dave slowly nods. Dirk settles him to rest against the pillows as he retrieves another bottle, bringing it over, cracking it open, and slowly feeding it to Dave in little sips.

Dave drinks about three fourths of it before pulling back and Dirk sets the bottle down. He climbs back onto the bed, straddling Dave’s hips again and starting a slow grind against Dave’s cock. Dave shudders. “Fuck.” He manages, looking up at his older brother.

“Is this what you were after, Dave?” Dirk murmurs, his eyes warmly amused as he hooks his fingers into ropes, tugging and tweaking at the bonds. “Looking for your brother’s attention?”

Dave shudders as the ropes tighten and loosen over his arms and torso, shaking his head. “Didn’t mean to.” He croaks. The pulsing in his blood is so soft like this, muted and hazy in the face of Dirk rocking so slowly and deliciously. Dave offers an exhausted grin. “Just a bonus, I guess.”

Dirk hums a little in amusement as his hips still, making Dave sigh in disappointment. “You look exhausted.” Dirk says, hand coming up to rub through Dave’s hair, mussing his locks. He waits, and Dave realizes that Dirk wants a response about six seconds too late.

“I- yeah.” He manages. “Feels a bit like I got hit by a truck.”

“Mm.” Dirk’s gaze is contemplative. “Well then.” His gazes flicks away for a moment, but when it comes back, it’s searing, pinning Dave in place. “I’ll give you a choice, Dave. I can cut you free, fuck you, and then we watch a movie and relax.” The matter-of-fact way that the words are falling from Dirk’s mouth makes Dave shudder.

“Or,” Dirk says, leaning in slightly so that their noses were almost touching. “You stay tied up. I give you more water and a handjob to take off the edge. You take a nap to recover a bit. Then when you wake, I am going to fuck you into the sheets until you piss yourself again.”

Dave’s face goes _hot_ , eyes wide, his cock _throbbing_ against Dirk’s thigh. Dirk waits patiently for Dave’s reply.

“Th- the second one.” Dave croaks. Dirk gives a small, pleased smile, his hand rubbing through Dave’s hair, scratching his scalp.

“Alright.” He murmurs, leans in, and kisses Dave’s temple before sliding off the bed. He walks over to retrieve another water bottle and Dave watches the line of Dirk’s back as he moves. Dirk cracks the top and returns, hauling Dave up into more of a sitting position and straddling his hips again, starting that slow grind that makes Dave’s head fall back with a groan.

Dirk’s hand cups the back of Dave’s head and tilts it forwards, pressing the bottle to Dave’s mouth. Dave drinks, swallowing mouthful after mouthful of water, Dirk’s gaze approving as he tilts the bottle slowly, letting Dave breath between each swallow.

The water slips into his belly and, when Dave is finished, Dirk rubs gently at the back of Dave’s head. Dave squirms slightly, the cool liquid in his stomach doing nothing to counteract the heat gathering in his core.

Dirk tosses aside the empty bottle, not even looking at it fall to the floor as he hooks his hands into the ropes around Dave’s chest and holds them tight as he starts rocking his hip roughly, twisting and fucking against Dave’s cock.

Dave moans, trying to arch up but he can barely wiggle, Dirk’s weight pinning him down, Dave’s hips flexing against the ropes. He has to give up and let his head tilt back against the wall with a moan, letting Dirk do anything he wants.

Dave doubts he’d be able to do much anyway. Even just the sinful twisting of Dirk’s hips is having him trembling. It’s all too much, exhaustion and Dirk’s touch and the belly full of water and the heat still being churned up by Dirk’s movements-

Dave shudders, straining against the ropes as he groans, heat pulsing against Dirk’s thigh. Dirk stills, a brow raising.

“Well then.” Dirk muses, reaching down and giving the softening bulge in Dave’s soaked underwear a squeeze. Dave moans weakly. “I suppose that takes care of that.”

Dave feels like he’s been hit with five fucking pickup trucks. He goes boneless, panting at the little tingles going through him. Dirk leans in and kisses Dave’s temple again. “Tired?” He asks, and Dave gives a heavy exhale, nodding.

“Alright.” Dirk slides off of Dave’s lap, hooking his hands in the ropes and slides him down on the bed so he can lie flat. He slips off the bed and turns the lights off, picking up the remote for his TV and flicking it on.

He tugs the blankets over Dave’s lower half and then climbs onto the bed, putting himself between Dave and the door. It’s shut. He arranges them so that the blankets cover Dave perfectly, bundling them up around his neck, the light from the TV giving just enough to see by.

“Take a nap, Dave.” Dirk says, as Dave wiggles and shifts so that he can rest his head on Dirk’s thigh. Dirk’s arm drapes over Dave’s shoulder. A reassuring weight.

Dave glances at the door. It’s shut. He breathes out slowly, half-watching the TV as Dirk proceeds to start up _Shrek._

“Shrek?” Dave mumbles, already sinking into an exhausted sleep.

“It’s a legendary film.” Dirk says. “The sheer amount of iconic lines and references-”

Dave drifts off to the sound of Dirk’s voice. Secure and bound. He doesn’t really dream, per say, just drifts. Breathing slow and heavy.

He comes out of it near the end, just in time for Shrek to kiss Fiora and lift her curse. He squints blearily at the screen, raising his head slightly.

“Hey, Dave.” Dirk says softly, his hand sliding up to scratch through Dave’s locks, over his scalp. “How’re you feeling?”

Dave shudders a bit, wiggling as he blinks the sleep from his eyes. “A bit sore.” He admits. “My shoulders kinda ache.”

Dirk hums a bit. “Can you endure it for a bit?” Dave rolls his shoulders slowly, testing the ache, then nods against Dirk’s thigh. “Alright.” Dirk shifts them so that he can swing around and sprawl along Dave’s front, pressing him into the mattress.

“Turn the movie off.” Dave croaks, entire body waking up, heat jolting through him at being pinned to the bed. Dirk huffs in amusement but finds the remote, just muting the TV. Good enough. He puts it off to the side before leaning in, bumping their noses together. His breath washes over Dave’s face in a dizzying wash.

“Hey there, little brother.” Dirk murmurs as Dave shudders, heat gathering in the dips of his body, in the places where Dirk’s skin presses against his. “Seems like you’ve found yourself in a _predicament._ ”

“Y-yeah.” Dave manages. Dirk tilts his head slightly, an amused smirk on his face that make’s Daves face go hot.

“I’ll take care of you, though.” Dirk murmurs, his fingers plucking at the ropes, causing little pulls of tension to slip across Dave’s skin, waking his nerves up. The touches gradually trail down Dave’s torso, over his soft belly, which makes Dave suck in a reflexive breath as his stomach jumps.

Dirk’s hand pauses over Dave’s lower belly, then slowly, deliberately, presses down over Dave’s bladder.

A jolt goes through Dave as the pressure swells, his thighs squeezing together instinctively. He shudders, a groan falling from his mouth, and as Dirk presses a touch firmer, it turns into a spike of discomfort, Dave’s eyes squeezing shut. A pleased smile slides onto Dirk’s face as he lets up on the pressure. He bumps their noses together and then pulls back, hooking his fingers into the ropes and rolling Dave on the bed until he’s face down.

Dave wiggles a bit, a nervous thrill running through him. There’s a momentary spike as he realizes he can’t see the door, but Dirk’s weight on his thighs his a grounding point, settling him in his skin. He flexes his toes, the only part of him that can still move freely, squirming at the mounting pressure in his gut.

Dirks’ torso presses up along his back and then Dirk’s dry lips are on Dave’s neck, sliding up the tender skin to press a kiss right behind Dave’s ear. Dave shudders.

“Gonna have to hurry up, Dirk.” Dave says. It’s not to the dangerous level, yet, but- Dave is definitely _uncomfortable_ from the weight in his bladder. Dirk laughs softly in Dave’s ear, low and husky as his hands find Dave’s ass, giving it a squeeze and spreading Dave’s cheeks.

“Reading my mind.” Dirk says, and then he’s pulling back and there’s a pop of a bottle cap and oh _fuck_ those are two slick fingers sliding right into Dave’s ass. Dave groans, pressing his face into the bed as Dirk’s fingers slip in without any resistance, tugging at his rim, spreading him open.

Dirk makes a mildly surprised noise, but doesn’t say anything, just adding a third finger, of which Dave is grateful for because he’d _really_ prefer not to explain his masturbation habits to his brother. Yes, his brother is about to fuck him, don’t get on his case, it’s just different.

Dirk plunges these three fingers into Dave over and over, twisting and rocking and all Dave can do is pant and squirm. He wants to shove his hips up, but all he can manage is a weak hump against the bed. His thighs quiver, hole flexing and squeezing around Dirk’s fingers, his gut clenching against a throb in his bladder.

“Dirk…” Dave groans, and as Dirk’s fingers find his prostate Dave _moans,_ another throb rocketing through him. “Fuck- fuck- don’t do that- I’ll-”

“You’ll pee?” Dirk asks and does it again. Dave yelps, sucking in a desperate breath as he clenches his gut, thighs trembling as they squeeze together. Dirk rubs against that spot, slow and forceful and the effort of holding it in makes Dave bite his lip, a cold rush going through him, keening softly. It feels good, it feels good- but the pressure _hurts,_ too, tears springing to his eyes.

Fuck- he knows, he _knows_ Dirk wants to see it, wants to make Dave piss himself again, but Dave wants to hold back as long as he can, wants to delay the inevitable humiliation that will come from the act, wants to delay Dirk seeing him break down _again_. And yet, there’s a deep part of Dave that is uncoiling, that is turning towards Dirk like a sunflower to the sun, craving anything that Dirk chooses to give him.

Dirk’s fingers let up in their abuse of Dave’s prostate and he gives an almost-sob of relief, slowly relaxing, until the hard edge of discomfort softens back into the haze of pressure.

“Relax, Dave.” Dirk says. His hands find Dave’s ass, spreading it again, and then the tip of his cock is pressing against Dave’s hole, slowly pushing in. It’s hot and thick as Dirk slowly rocks it into Dave’s guts, a smooth glide as Dave’s hole welcomes it completely, offering not even a hint of resistance.

Dave shudders as Dirk seats himself, hips flush. Dirk’s cock is heavy and thick, filling him up so perfectly, and as Dirk starts rocking slowly, Dave shudders at the slow, deep drag. The pace is weird- so different from what Dave usually does when he jerks off, hard and fast and relentless- and the change of pace has him trembling.

Dirk’s hands run up Dave’s back, plucking at the ropes, lighting up webs across Dave’s skin, until Dave is panting, squirming and biting his lip, breathing harshly through his nose. He’s being pulled in so many different directions, his skin prickling and sensitive from the ropes keeping him tied, his bladder aching and throbbing, the slow drag of Dirk’s cock making his eyes roll back- it’s all so much, so overwhelming and Dave _can’t handle it._ He’s so close to just shaking apart.

His head is blessedly silent. No pulse, no pounding, even the whispering ticking of time is soft and muted.

Dirk’s front presses up along Dave’s back, elbows planting on the bed on either side of Dave’s head and he starts up a long, rolling movement, his feet draped over Dave’s calves, and it’s a full body rock that presses Dave into the bed. A deep wave that rolls up Dave’s body, legs pressed down as Dirk’s thighs work, hips pressing in and working his cock deep into Dave, torso following after to press Dave’s chest down, hips already pulling back for the next roll.

Dave feels like he’s being rocked in the waves of an ocean, mouth open and tiny little noises being rolled from his mouth, desperate and high. Dirk’s mouth finds his neck and it’s wet, mouthing and nipping at the skin. Dave is helpless, trapped and pinned and unable to even reach for Dirk, eyes fluttering and hole clenching around Dirk.

“You feel so fucking good, Dave.” Dirk murmurs, mouth pressed to Dave’s ear and the feeling sends a new shiver down Dave’s spine. “So tight and warm around me. Do you feel full? Stuffed full of me?”

“Yes-” Dave whines, which breaks into a sob. He’s never had anyone touch him like this- so slow and sensual, so _careful_ , like he’s something to be cherished and taken care of. Tears are gathering in his eyes. “It’s- so much-” He gasps.

Dirk hums softly, pressing another kiss behind Dave’s ear. “Here, Dave.” He says, his rolling thrusts slowing to a stop. He shifts, one hand sliding down to tuck under Dave, fingers splaying wide over the ropes, over his belly.

Dave gasps as Dirk starts rocking again, the new pressure against his bladder bringing everything into sharp focus. “N-no-” he shudders, his breathing picking up as he squeezes his eyes closed, gut clenching against the rocking press, Dirk’s cock rolling him down into his hand, pressing up against Dave’s bladder, driving him towards that terrible humiliation that has Dave’s face burning, and then Dirk’s hand _shifts_ and curls into a fist and the pressure sharpens to a point.

“Go ahead, Dave.” Dirk breathes. “Piss yourself. I have you.” Dave gives a sob as he trembles, thighs shaking, clenching so hard, trying to stop the inevitable. Dirk gives a low groan as Dave clenches down around his cock, mouthing at Dave’s neck.

Dirk’s hand shifts and then the sharp line of Dirk’s knuckles presses in and it _throbs_ and hurts and Dave flies apart, the pee forced from him as he gasps and shakes, humiliation streaking to his core, the warmth sinking into Dirk’s bed, up Dave’s front and over Dirk’s hand- Dirk’s hand which is twisting to cup the head of Dave’s cock, the stream running over his palm as he continues to fuck Dave, moaning in his ear, low and pleased.

“Good job, Dave,” Dirk is breathing, making Dave keen and sob, “well done. So good.” The stream just doesn’t seem to _stop,_ his cock rocked into Dirk’s hand, Dave crying at being pulled open, vulnerable and taken apart by his older brother, unable to move but for how Dirk moves him, and it feels so _good_ , feels good to finally let go, finally get release and let go of the pressure in his bladder, relief rushing through him.

Dirk keeps murmuring soft praises as he continues rolling his cock into Dave’s unresisting body, pressing kisses to Dave’s neck between his words. Gradually, the stream slows to a trickle, then tapers off into nothing but cooling wetness against Dave’s belly and tears streaking down his face.

“Perfect.” Dirk murmurs. “So perfect.” The words are like a balm on his burning eyes, his aching chest, easing some of the distressing humiliation.

“D-Dirk- I- I can’t-” Dave sobs. Dirk shushes him gently.

“I have you. I’m going to make you cum, Dave, and then I’ll cut you free.” He promises and Dave clings to those words like a lifeline, sniffling and nodding.

Dirk presses another kiss to Dave’s neck and _moves_ , hips picking up their pace, fucking into Dave deep and hard, hand still cupping the head of Dave’s cock so every motion has Dave fucking into it, forcing a shaky moan from Dave’s throat. Without the pressure in his bladder, every one of Dirk’s motions is rocking through him and pushing him closer and closer to the edge, fucking him deep and dragging noises from his throat.

“Good boy.” Dirk murmurs and Dave shudders. “Doing so well. Are you close, Dave?” He noses along the curve of Dave’s ear. “You feel close, squeezing down so tightly around me.”

Dave nods as he keens softly. “Good.” Dirk breathes. “Come on, then.” And he _shoves_ his hips, using Dave’s body as leverage to fuck quick and rough, hips slapping against Dave’s ass. Dave chokes on the change of pace, eyes rolling back, and it’s a bare handful of rough, deep thrusts before he’s shaking and hitting his peak, cock jerking and spurting into Dirk’s wet palm, wailing into the mattress as he shakes and jerks.

“So good, Dave.” Dirk groans, his voice rough as he slams his hips in and keep them there, jerking them roughly, grinding deep. “So fucking perfect.” His cock pulses inside of Dave, hot and wet as Dirk spills his cum into him, and Dave shudders and whimpers, pulses shocking through him, limbs twitching.

“So good.” Dirk breathes. “So good, Dave, thank you.” He kisses behind Dave’s ear as he slowly rocks his hips, milking himself into Dave’s soft hole. Finally, he pulls back with a groan. “Alright, let me get you out.”

Dave pants as Dirk pulls away, eyes falling shut. After a moment Dirk starts pulling at the ropes and there’s the sound of shearing as he starts cutting through them, the ropes starting to loosen and unravel. The bed is wet and cold under Dave, and now that the high is starting to slide away, Dave realizes he’s _drenched_ in sweat.

Dirk pulls back to roll Dave over onto his back and Dave squeezes his eyes shut, unable to look his brother in the face, the pit of humiliation returning in his belly. Dirk just kisses Dave’s cheek and starts cutting the ropes on his front, freeing Dave’s arms and tugging the strands away.

The moment he can shift one of his arms, Dave opens his eyes, reaches for Dirk, and pulls him into a kiss. Dirk goes stiff under his hands, surprised, but it’s only a heartbeat before he’s relaxing, letting Dave press their mouths together.

It’s wet, it’s messy, tear soaked and snotty, but the warmth of it fills the shameful pit in Dave’s belly. So when Dirk pulls back, Dave opens his eyes and meets his eyes, and his orange gaze is soft and warm.

“Hey there.” Dirk says, tone gentle. Dave swallows.

“Hey.” He croaks, hand slowly sliding down to cup the back of Dirk’s neck.

“Feeling alright?” Dirk asks. Dave shudders and slowly shakes his head. “That’s alright.” Dirk leans in and presses a soft kiss to Dave’s mouth. “It was a lot. I’ll take care of you, though.”

Dave shudders again and lets his hand drop, going boneless and sinking into the mattress. Dirk smiles slightly and resumes cutting, slowly working Dave free. His torso is gradually freed of ropes, the sheared lengths getting tossed over the side of the bed.

Dave feels… fuzzy around the edges. Like he’s not quite sure where he starts and stops. He watches Dirk free his legs, Dirk taking a minute to rub his warm hands over the marks left behind, over Dave’s sore muscles, turning Dave into a helpless puddle, chasing the aches away.

Dirk’s gentle hands move back up Dave’s body, rubbing over the rope marks, then over Dave’s aching arms, then nudging him over onto his stomach again. Dave does nothing to protest as Dirk rubs down his shoulders, moaning faintly at the relief of the ache.

“There we go.” Dirk murmurs. “Let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll be right back.”

“‘Kay.” Dave mumbles, thoroughly reduced to a puddle of goo. The sound of footsteps indicate Dirk’s leaving, but Dave just lies there, unmoving, drifting. He… doesn’t actually know how long he lies there before Dirk returns. His time sense is- hazy. Faint.

When Dirk returns, Dave has cooled off enough that he’s starting to shiver, sweat cold on his body. Dirk starts wiping him down with a warm, damp cloth and it steals away some of chill.

When Dirk finishes, he carefully works blankets under Dave to give them a layer between themselves and the soaked mattress, before climbing onto the bed and tugging a blanket up over both of them, Dave squirming around so he can drape his arm over Dirk’s waist, pressing his forehead to Dirk’s chest.

Dirk’s arm settles around him and he presses a soft kiss to the top of Dave’s head, fingers slowly trailing over Dave’s back. “Hey.” He says. “You with me?”

Dave nods into Dirk’s chest. Dirk’s hand slowly trails up Dave’s back, fingers finding the nape of Dave’s neck and rubbing through the soft hairs there.

“You want to talk about it?” Dirk asks, his tone relaxed. Non-judgemental.

“Probably should.” Dave admits, but his voice is weak and he swallows. “It’s stupid.”

“Hm.” Dave looked up in time to catch Dirk’s mouth going flat. “Considering it’s enough of a situation to put make you put yourself into a state where you allow yourself to be worked into a panic attack, I would hardly consider it ‘nothing’.” Dirk’s brow furrows slightly as he says this, gaze fixed on something past Dave.

“I… yeah.” When put like that, Dave couldn’t really argue otherwise. “I guess so.” Dirk waits patiently as Dave tries to fit words together in his mouth.

Finally, Dave sighs and gives a little shrug. “Dunno how to say it.” He says, shifting so he can look up at Dirk, who looks down to meet his eyes. “It’s like- everyone else is settling down, figuring their lives out, getting their shit together- and I’m just- I’m just _drifting_ , Dirk.” Dirk nods a little, encouraging Dave to go on, so Dave takes a breath and keeps going.

“I feel like I’m going insane- I just can’t seem to fucking _chill out._ I’m loosing my fucking mind, I just can’t fucking figure it out, I just can’t fucking _relax_ , for fuck’s sake I almost _skewered Karkat yesterday_ because he moved too fast-” Dave is babbling, his throat tight and eyes burning because stupid, stupid, _how stupid-_

Dirk hums softly and Dave buries his face back into Dirk’s chest.

“Fuck.” Dave says weakly, shuddering. “And I-”

“Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.” Dirk decides, fingers still rubbing at the nape of Dave’s neck. “Alright?”

“Okay.” Dave says weakly, shuddering. “Okay.”

“Good.” Dirk’s hand slips around to nudge a couple of fingers under Dave’s chin, tilting his head up. Dave blinks up at Dirk, shuddering slightly. Dirk leans in and kisses Dave, soft and gentle, and Dave slowly closes his eyes, a couple of tears slipping free.

“I’ve got you.” Dirk murmurs against Dave’s mouth. “It’s alright.” He gently thumbs over Dave’s chin, lightly bumping their noses together. “I want you to promise me something.”

Dave scrubs at his face with one hand before meeting Dirk’s serious, concerned gaze. “What?” Dave croaks.

“If you want to do this again,” Dirk says, and his hand traces one rope mark, making it clear what he means by _this_ , “then you come to me, and we are going to _talk_ about it first.”

Dave flushes a little and nods. “You’re the only one I’d trust to do it.” He says it without thinking, but the moment the words leave his mouth, his stomach gives a little lurch, heart squeezing as he realizes it’s true.

Dirk’s eyes go wide for a moment before they soften into a soft, pleased gaze, mouth quirking up.

“Alright.” He caught Dave’s mouth in another kiss. “Thank you, Dave.” Dirk murmurs against his mouth. Dave wiggles a bit closer, his skin prickling softly where Dirk presses up against him.

After a moment, Dave flushes.

“Sorry about your mattress.”

“It’s fine. I need a new one anyway.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to my good piss loving friend. You know who you are.
> 
> If you enjoyed this, check me out on twitter at [@LPSunnyBunny](http://twitter.com/LPSunnyBunny)!


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